13 Stories – Newnan, Ga – 16 Oct 2020 – Covid 19 Edition

We, me and Moose, arrived at 13 Stories around 8:00 on Friday night. The parking lot was busy, but not full, fooling me into thinking the haunt wasn’t busy. We bought general admission tickets to the main haunt, the Hellavator add on, and the Zombie Apocalypse laser tag feature.

Haha, the joke’s on me. The virtual queuing system means you can buy tickets anytime and get in a virtual line when you’re ready. Even then, the wait wasn’t bad. There were a couple of wandering scare actors keeping the customers on their toes. The guy on stilts was easily spotted, chasing anxious patrons around with a car horn / head light combo. A ‘slider’ was also prowling about.

Now, a word about haunted houses and Covid 19 mitigation. To me, and your mileage may vary, the key elements of a haunt are actor interaction, props, and setting. Actor interaction is strongly affected by the group you are in. My experience is that actors go for the best reactions, which usually come from the younger, clearly already nervous, patrons.

Covid mitigation turns that upside down. Actors are trying to maintain distance. Groups are not formed randomly from the assorted customers waiting in line. Your group is who you come with.

So my son and I were a group of two, an old guy and big guy, ambling through a haunted house. We occasionally caught up to the group in front of us, and the group behind us frequently caught up to us.

13 Stories had several actors stationed to prevent bunching up, holding a group with their act and blocking passage long enough to create some space. I would have loved to hear their lines and respond, but the ambient noise level in 13 stories is intense and most of the time rendered the actors essentially mute.

We encountered about 40 scares, some in fixed scenes and some roaming. The roamers were able to cut through the sets and scare the same group multiple times. Memorable actors were the pair in the ‘kitchen’ scene and the very nimble guy at the entrance to the clown house.

13 Stories uses a lot of animatronic monsters to supplement the actors, so be prepared for roaring creatures of all types to lunge out from hiding. As always, the props and settings range from mild to gross, running the gamut from graveyards to abattoirs.

Zombie Apocalypse The 2020 version of this feature has several updates. Gone are the old M4s, those solidly built replicas whose physical mass probably led to the occasional accident. I know I had a couple close calls in years past. In their place were compact, plastic, lightweight, bullpup style laser tag guns.

The other change was the course is now a loop, so while you have unlimited ammo, you now have a limited time to play as you walk through the course.

The zombies were quite lively and aggressive, and ‘died’ with energetic antics when lit up by the activation of their target necklace. They’d wait a few, then come back for more. Watch your back, they almost always attack from behind or down low to the side.

Hellavator Now I wish I had done this last year so I’d have a good comparison. This is an add on feature that I’m going to guess was meant to be a little more intense than the main haunt. During our visit, there were only 3 or 4 scare actors in the haunt rotating through the scene to scare us about 10 times. The intensity was about the same as the main haunt. Aside from the ‘elevator’ ride, the scenes and settings could have used more work.

13 Stories is a huge space with a lot of open area, and felt a little emptier this year, mostly thanks to the pandemic, I think.

We got to chat for a few minutes with the 13 Stories boss, Allyn Glover. It was nice to meet him after all these years of visiting his work. Everyone at 13 Stories was friendly and helpful, from the ticket window to the gift shop folks, and especially Crystal, the lady directing traffic on the walk up to the line.

13 Stories Haunted House – Newnan, GA – 2019

We have been to 13 Stories numerous times over the years, and I am enjoying their willingness to change things up. They have a nice, large, well built space in which to play, and on this visit, they played hard.

Me and the Moose arrived at 13 Stories, just off US-27 in Newnan, at 10:50 on Friday 11 October. We paid our $25 each for general admission tickets and went right into the front room to sign a waiver and encounter our first scare actors.

This year’s 13 Stories features the return of the Clown Haus and the behind the scenes Clown Haus. Also, this year, the whole haunt is a touch haunt, though no one tied our hands or blindfolded us as in previous incarnations which included the Sacrifice feature.

We took our time along the trail, noting some familiar sights along with the changes. The actors aggressively stayed with us, keeping up their chatter or growls, yells, and screams for a bit. There were a number of running, sliding, scares with actors skidding across the floor from behind or from a bend in the path ahead.

The best ones were those that got to stay and talk, like the butcher, the graveyard guide, and numerous clowns.

Some of the quiet ones were also fantastic. In the graveyard, a petite actor with a grisly mask linked arms with me as if we were strolling through the park. She stayed with me while the graveyard guide warned us about the terrors ahead, then walked along for a bit before slipping away to scare us again later with an upside down crab walk like something out of “The Grudge”

Then, there were the clowns.

When the website, the ticket, and all the other signs and ads say “Return of the Clown Haus” there had better be clowns. We were not disappointed.

Clowns followed us. Clowns threatened us with axes, knives, and bats, they told us jokes, they talked to us in both a conversational and an insane manner, they dropped down from above. One clown fist bumped me, which was awesome. Another said we looked bored, and we had to reassure her that we were just trying to take everything in and that they were great.

There is a lot to take in this year at 13 Stories. We enjoyed some of the subtle touches like the HR Office sign in the Clown Haus.

The actors will touch you. For us, they were not shoving or pulling, but mainly things like a hand on a shoulder, an almost conspiratorial, confiding gesture whose normality was made creepy by the context.

There are a lot of animatronics at 13 Stories this year. They were usually well placed and added a nice touch. Animatronics do not have personal boundaries though, so be prepared to get out of their way quickly.

The props ran from just gory to hideous. The 13 Stories web site does not recommend an age limit, but I would think twice before bringing an easily scared pre-teen to a haunt with such graphic props.

I lost track of counting scare actor encounters at around 60. I would guess the final tally is closer to 75, though when a pack of clowns is mobbing you for a couple minutes solid, it’s hard to describe with just a number.

We exited the haunt into a large room featuring merchandise, an oxygen bar, snacks, and at least one add on feature called the Hellevator. We passed on all the extras though, so someone else will have to tell us about them.

13 Stories is definitely worth a visit this year. We encountered a group in the parking lot who asked us how we liked it. When we told them, they seemed a little more hesitant about continuing. We assured them they’d be fine 🙂  Now I wish we had ponied up for another ticket so we could go through with them. They looked like they would be entertaining!

I do want to know if and when Sacrifice is coming back. I miss it.

13 Stories Haunted House – Newnan Georgia – 2017

We visited 13 Stories on October 6th this year, early in the season and in the evening. I did the haunt, Zombie Apocalypse, and Sacrifice. My son stuck with just the haunt and the zombies.

After last year’s great visit, this year was a bit of a dud.

The Haunt. This year’s haunt change was the replacement of the Clown Haus with Clown Town, which was a darker and less pschyedelic version of the clown theme.

The trail has become familiar, which is not a bad thing. I’d hoped to see some new twists on the familiar paths.

The haunt did not live up to the extraordinary promise it showed last year. Simply put, there were not enough actors. Long stretches of the haunt were devoid of any scary contact other than scenery. The memorable actors were the elevator operator, the lady in the bathroom, and two clowns in Clown Town whose act was hard to hear over the ambient noise level.

Zombie Apocalypse. The maze seemed bigger this year, and the actors were a lot of fun. This was the highlight of 13 Stories 2017. If they had been keeping score, I know I’d have gotten zombified at least three times. The actors put some effort into hiding and surprising, and could be quite wily for zombies. The admonition to split up into smaller groups once in the maze led to some amusing friendly fire incidents with trigger happy teammates.

The 150 rounds lasted a long time too.

Sacrifice. This is the first year since Sacrifice started that I didn’t go through twice. Yes, I enjoyed the prior year’s experiences enough to come back to 13 Stories a second time, buy a ticket to the haunt and then add the Sacrifice option.

This year wrists are bound and eyes are blindfolded before entering the attraction. Although by myself, I was added to the group of four in front of me more through their cajoling than by the direction of the staff. We entered Sacrifice with tied hands touching the shoulders of the person in front of us.

And we were never separated.

That is my major complaint against Sacrifice this year. The individual attention received in past visits, even when we entered as a group, was absent. The intimacy of being totally disconnected from anyone and at the mercy of the scare actors was gone. These are the reasons I go to Sacrifice. This is a wonderfully demented piece of immersive haunt theater because it’s all in your head, and in the hands and voices of the actors who don’t need to be over the top to get your attention.

At the end of a blindfolded conga line, I barely noticed what little attention I received. A touch of a wet cloth, a revving chainsaw behind the legs, a touch or push here and there. The running commentary from the family in front of me was distracting, though hardly their fault. No one spoke to me, or whispered their intentions in my ear.

This once again suggests insufficient staff for the attraction.

The best Sacrifice moment of the night was when the sweet attendant tied my wrists. She said “You’re the quiet one.”

I replied. “Yes. I’m the quiet one.”

With a smile she said, “You have to watch the quiet ones because they’re crazy.”
I smiled back and then she slipped the blindfold over my eyes.

Bottom Line. 13 Stories needs more people. I don’t know if we just picked a bad time to show up or if the haunt is consistently underpopulated. The 13 Stories facility is full of potential. Sacrifice is full of potential. They both need something more to bring them to life.

13 Stories Haunted House – Newnan Georgia – 2016 – Spoilers

Welcome to the vastly improved 13 Stories.  We visited tonight with uncertain expectations and many questions.  In case you didn’t read the title, this is a spoiler blog.  I will give my impressions and a walk through of the haunt as best as I can remember.

13 Stories advertises itself as 4 haunted attractions, plus the additional Sacrifice haunt, and Zombie Apocalypse, a laser tag zombie shooting game.  I went through all of them.  My son skipped Sacrifice. This blog will combine our impressions of all the attractions.

The Main Haunt. The main haunt is supposed to be comprised of 4 separate features: 13 Stories, Ward B, Zombie Alley, and the Clown Haus.  Except for the Clown Haus, the distinction between one feature and the next is a little vague.  There was an obvious elevator, some crazy asylum inmates, and some zombies, but the areas flowed one into the next.  The Clown Haus came with its own little briefing and a warning that the clowns might touch us.  Between the clown antics and the vibrant colors, the Clown Haus was pretty obvious 🙂

That’s my only complaint.

This year’s version of 13 Stories was expanded both in space and the number of scare features contained in that space.  Areas that were unoccupied last year contained scare actors or devices.  A good mix of actors, props, animatronics, and special effects filled the haunts, including 3 spinning tunnels, a lot of large animatronic effects, air jets, snap & pop sound effects.  The actors were energetic and sometimes even playful. The two young couples in our group were frightened to the point of racing through the haunt at the expense of actually seeing the haunt.  The aerial clown in Clown Haus frightened them so thoroughly they fell to the floor.  The clowns were especially funny this year. They have the best opportunities to show personality because unlike zombies and murderous lunatics, they have conversational skills.

If you are scared of spiders, I think 13 Stories will haunt you for some time to come. Especially effective was the live actor, slightly webbed, pleading for help in the scene with the animatronic spider.

Last year I wrote that 13 Stories had a lot of potential that needed filling.  This year, they rose to that challenge.

Sacrifice.  Like the main haunt, Sacrifice is expanded this year, with new creeps and chills.  This is the by far the best version of Sacrifice I’ve attended, and if I have the chance, I will do it again.  The haunt starts as it has the past two years, with a blindfold and a quick audio briefing.  Right away, the rules are changed as the audio warns you that your hands will be bound.  Now you are sacrificing sight and a certain amount of touch.

The first part of the experience was familiar.  Fleeting touches as I was guided along in my personal darkness.  Face, ears, neck, and upper torso were all fair game.  There was some conversation and teasing as guides spun me around before sending me along.  This year there was no hard shoving, but also no real extended periods of stumbling along groping for the path ahead.  Gentle pressure and pushes were constantly, and consistently used to move me along.  Then, a pause while someone bound my wrists in front of me with something that felt softer and flatter than a rope.

By the way, it felt like you had a lot of practice doing that, you little devils!

From that point on I was guided from what felt like station to station.  At one point my hands were pressed against a tingly shock mat, then my whole body.  At another, I’m backed into a wall and enclosed in a coffin or similar cramped space, and in still another, my upper body is restrained by some wrap around shell and a creepily androgynous actor lifts my blindfold and shows me the bug he or she is about to let walk on my face.  This did not bother me, and I really couldn’t tell you whether there actually was a bug on my face or whether someone was touching me with a whisk or brush.

Sacrifice was much more conversational this time, though I wouldn’t mind still more.  If I go back, I will try to initiate the chatter and see what happens.  At the end of the walk through, I was stopped and backed up against a wall and told to raise my still bound hands over my head.  Someone touched me yet again, especially around the chest and armpits.  I think they might have been trying to tickle me.

As I am a middle aged man with a gray beard, I don’t know if I get the full treatment or if they take it easy on me, so your mileage may definitely vary.  That said, I enjoyed the new Sacrifice and all the individual attention I received within it.  Give it a try and if you see your special fear called out here, embrace it and let the denizens of Sacrifice toy with it for a short while.  Don’t worry; they won’t hurt you.

Zombie Apocalypse. Finally we go shoot some zombies.  Rather than add the option to carry a laser tag rifle through part of the main haunt, this year 13 Stories dedicated a zone to nothing but zombie zapping.  I thought this was a smart move and we had a load of fun in the zombie zone.  What better way to decompress after the stress of being haunted than to blaze away at the brain craving undead.  After a short orientation on the weapons, fire rate selection, importance of keeping the mag in the rifle, and an exhortation not to “hurt the children” by actually striking them with the rifle, we enter the maze.  With the fog machines spinning up, a relatively simple structure did turn a bit disorienting.  The maze contains both circles and dead ends and it’s easy to find yourself boxed into a corner with five zombies advancing on you, or to suddenly hear growls and snarls behind you as you concentrate on the targets in front.

With a respawn time for the laser tag devices and the layout of the room, the same zombies will accost you over and over, simulating a never ending horde of hungry brain eaters.  Unlike last year, my 150 rounds, even with my efficient fire discipline :), were used up fairly soon.  The good news is that more ammo can be purchased at the counter and you can continue the carnage for as long as you feel the need.

13 Stories.  Wow.  You were spot on this year and I hope to see you again soon.

13 Stories Haunted House in Newnan, Georgia 2015 – Spoilers!

This was my 4th visit to 13 Stories.  Last year we (my son and me) went through the haunt twice, and then we went to a Zombie Apocalypse laser tag event there.  The haunt is beginning to feel familiar.  There were a few changes this year, some for the better.  Others, well, I try to keep my criticism constructive.

This year, we went with the VIP passes again, and Black Ops, and I added Sacrifice to my ticket.  That made for an expensive pair of tickets, but that was our choice; we were trying to hit 3 haunted houses spread over Atlanta in one night, so we went for speed over savings.  We didn’t get to try out 13 Stories new virtual queuing system, but from the line, it looked like the night was running smoothly.

This led to our first mistake of the evening.  My son and I zoomed to the head of the line, got our weapons, and went right in.  Just the two of us.  I should have said something to the attendant and added the next 3 or 4 people to our group because haunted houses are way more fun when someone in the group screams and jumps.  For better or worse, I am not that person and neither is my son.  So, if you go VIP, make your own group or ask to have some folks added to yours.  Unless you are 18 and on a date and one of you promises to scream and jump and yell for your mommy.

Gunned up and alone, we entered the haunt.  New rules for Black Ops this year.  Instead of being armed in Zombie Alley and Clown Haus, we carried our carbines through the first 3 haunts: 13 Stories, Ward B, and Zombie Alley, then relinquished them before entering the Clown Haus.   Not liking this change so much.  The clowns last year were freaking hilarious when shot, performing all manner of death antics.  Shooting a demented monster was far less satisfying and interrupted their routine.

So, walking through the haunt, scanning for targets.   A mix of live actors and animatronics assaulted us as we moved steadily onward.  Chainsaw guy, elevator operator, and mad scientist’s  daughter were particularly interactive.   Missing were a few actors recalled from last year, such as the “Girl in the Graveyard” and the “Demented Nurse”  The amount of work done on the building and the haunt within was immediately obvious.  A lot of work and decoration was apparent in the middle parts of the haunt.  However, there were too few actors filling these newly decorated spaces, including Zombie Alley.   This was my major complaint for 13 Stories.  I finished the armed portion of the haunt with most of my ammo.  The Clown Haus was similarly underpopulated, though the inhabitants were still quite cheeky, especially the lady actor overhead, the guide, and the jokers in the little mini-maze.  Gone were the 3D glasses in the Clown Haus, which provided pop to the colors and decoration of the haunt, but which also must have been a pain to distribute, collect, and maintain.  After the Clown Haus came Sacrifice, which gets its own review below.

What I liked. The unrushed intimacy of the haunt.  The actors had time to interact with me.  I wish I was better at interacting with them.  The reload lady made us do jumping jacks to get more ammo.   I liked the work done on the haunt and look forward to visiting a fuller 13 Stories next year.

What Could Have Been Better.  More actors in every haunt.  13 Stories is almost just right.  More actors that continue to perform as those actors already present perform: original, interactive, and willing to play with their guests for their brief time together.

Sacrifice  The 18 and over, waiver required, separately ticketed haunt surprised me again this year.  Entering Sacrifice, I was given a blindfold to wear (a nice, clean, fresh scented sleepmask) and told to stand and listen to the audio briefing.  Before the audio started, someone circled me asking questions.  Am I scared of dogs?  How do I feel about spiders?  Scorpions?  And a constant stream of touching.

The briefing informed me to keep the blindfold on or be removed and not to retaliate or fight back against the actors in the attraction.  I was also told not to talk, but I’m not sure if that was just during the audio or all through the haunt.  I should have asked.

Sacrifice was a much rougher experience this year than last, with considerably more shoving and commands of “Move!” and “Move faster!”  As I was alone in the attraction, I think I might have received the full attention of the crew.  I was certainly touched frequently and in a variety of ways.   Blindfolded and groping along with my hands extended, I was stroked on the neck, the hairline, cheek, throat, shoulder, and belly.   Grabs were also directed at my shoulders and belly.  There were a few scents included as well, and shock mats on the walls delivered low intensity zaps even when I only used one finger on the wall.

I liked this different Sacrifice, but I also got annoyed at the shoving and repetitious verbal orders.  At one point I simply planted my feet and stood still, having had my fill of getting yanked around.    I’m wearing a freaking blindfold, I’m not going to charge off at a quick march into a freaking shockmat wall, you know?  I’m trusting the actors to not let that happen, but after a few bumps into a plywood corner, I figure I am on my own.

Some variety would have been welcome.  Variety would have enhanced the creepiness factor.  Instead of another command of “Move Faster!”  an actor could take my hand and whisper to me instead, or stop me entirely for a quiet chat.

Last year I wrote that in Sacrifice, you are forced to rely on the creepy kindness of strangers to navigate a simple maze.

This year’s Sacrifice forced you to endure the aggressive hostility of an angry woman to get shoved through the maze.

I come to Sacrifice to play and be played with, and I still haven’t gotten that experience just right.

This season’s tickets.  Fun, hunh?

13 Stories Zombie Apocalypse – Spoilers

What happens at a haunted house during the other ten and a half months of the year?  This weekend, I learned two possible answers to that question.  The more exciting answer is: They still work to entertain you!  13 Stories hosted a Zombie Apocalypse event and we decided to go.

Summary and Run Through: Another road trip.  We paid a visit to 13 Stories in Newnan, Georgia once again.  This time for the Zombie Apocalypse.   Tickets were easily purchased on-line and at a discount.  For reasons unknown, there was a bit of delay getting into the attraction even though the line of ticket holders was short.  My son and I were a group of two, and we were combined with two other groups of two.  That’s a big group of six if you were struggling to do the math 🙂  The last stop before going through the gray door was the armory, where we had a choice between a full size M4 or a stockless M4.  These weapons had real heft and in addition to the light emitted from the business end, they were outfitted with magazines and CO2 cartridges.  Not sure how shots were counted, but the CO2 provided a little pop and recoil.  Frankly, once the shooting started, I didn’t notice the weight, sound, or recoil.

Our group then entered a briefing area.  An energetic fellow explained that headshots were needed to drop the zombies, that ammo should be conserved, and that eventually, the undead would rise again.  Translation: the actors wore headbands that lit up, they might take more than one shot to drop, and there was a reset period before they respawned.  Then we met our loader, a lady festooned with spare mags, CO2, and an extra weapon.  She advised us that without her, we would all get dead real soon, as she was our only source of reloads.

Headshots.  Fire discipline.  Protect the reloader.  Check; let’s go.

In we went.  There was no shortage of shambling undead.  They came at us in the open, easy targets, but they also hid around corners, under furniture, in trap doors, behind low walls, dangling from an aerial harness, and even in a freaking box!  Zombie in a box pop-up….that got the blood pumping.

Some zombies dropped with one shot, others were more resilient and advanced despite flashing headbands.  This might seem like cheating, but it was actually nice.  With six shooters in the group, it was good to have a lot of targets.  The undead displayed an array of behaviors ranging from mildly to very aggressive and tenacious.  There was one zombie in particular with an amazing energy level.  I won’t spoil his routine.  You really need to see it for yourself and I hope that guy is a part of every show 13 Stories puts on forever and ever.

We progressed through the maze, familiar from our visit to the haunted house back in October, until the final swarm, which was a lot of fun as I thought the zombies would not run out before our ammo did.

The loader started out at the back of the group, which didn’t make a lot of tactical sense since we were supposed to defend her.  Eventually she made her way to the middle of the squad, nervously protesting that “is an easy way to get smacked with a gun barrel”

As far as I know, contact with someone’s weapon occurred only once.  As a zombie either fell or crawled forward, I aimed down to shoot her and I think I bumped her with the muzzle.   The words “Sorry!  Sorry!”  blurted out before I had a chance to think.  Some stone cold zombie killer I am!

The maze used most or maybe all of the trail that was used in the haunt.  Some of the animatronics were active, which made a nice distraction and prompted the trigger happy to pop off a few rounds.  I thought it was interesting to see the guts of the haunt exposed like that, though I’d understand if others were put off by the starkness of the spaces.  Even the twisty Sacrifice maze was used, which was cool to see.

We exited the maze, dropped our weapons on the table, thanked the loader and left the building down the ramp to the parking lot.

Customer Service.  Everyone was laid back and friendly.  The wait was broken up by chats with other patrons and with 13 Stories employees.  The workers seemed eager to talk to customers who had been to the haunt and who still had questions about this or that.  A group came in behind us that had tickets for an earlier time slot, but who had been unavoidably delayed.  They were accommodated without issue.

Facilities.  The now familiar haunt was cold inside, so if there’s another round of Zombie hunting, be prepared.  In stark contrast to the haunt in October, the parking lot was dark, the ramp exiting the building was dark, and there was only one bathroom (that we could find) next to the entrance and marked ‘WOMEN’  The inside was perfect for the action combining a lot of different spaces, obstacles, and illumination.

What Did We Really Like?  The action was non-stop.  I don’t think anyone in the group had nothing to do.  Also, it was a family friendly event.  The zombie actors were energetic despite being close to the end of their work day.

What Could Be Better?  A little more attention to the facilities would have been nice.  I think at least one area of really good lighting inside the feature would have been good to show off the make-up and costuming of the zombies.  Of course, it’s possible there was a well lit area inside and I was too busy shooting them to appreciate their appearances.

We didn’t receive any info on what we were defending against.  If a zombie touched us, were we out?  Temporarily disabled?  Was that even going to happen?  Similarly, what were we defending our loader against?  Being touched, grabbed, or completely swarmed?  Was that even really a consideration?

Get the stockless weapon.  Sights are pretty useless on the dimly lit battlefield.  I found sighting down the barrel just as effective.  Bring your own group.  Especially if you want to be all tactical and organized.  We were a mob of folks racing through the battle.  We did switch up the point with each reload, trying to let everybody have a chance to lead.

Final Thought.  The other answer to the question of what goes on in a haunt the rest of the year:  Work.  I learned there’s a lot of work going on behind the scenes and all year round.  I look forward to my next visit.

13 Stories Haunted House Newnan Georgia – Spoilers

Summary and Run Through: We had a lot of fun at 13 Stories. My son and I went through twice, once as rifle carrying recruits and once as civilians. I also went through Sacrifice twice. Our first trip through was too fast. I don’t think that was the haunt’s fault, as we were in a huge hurry to get our guns and shoot some zombies and clowns. 13 Stories uses live actors and animatronics to deliver scares. The gore was minimal, though certainly present in a couple of scenes, most memorably the demented dentist and the nurse right before the morgue. Other particularly memorable scenes include the floor crawling patient in the asylum, and the animatronic spider. The two above the wall level actors added some extra dimension to the haunt, especially the wire harnessed young lady in the clown sector floating above the trail. My personal favorite was the actress in the graveyard scene. She stood stock still as we walked by, wondering if that sepulchral figure was real or a mannequin. Then she stepped out onto the path beside her selected targets, who jumped quite satisfactorily. I recall about 12 rooms before reaching the checkpoint where we received our modified M16s.

The weapon had the heft and feel of the real deal, and the armorer warned us that using the rifle as a ‘blunt force instrument’ would result in immediate ejection from the attraction and a visit from an on site police officer. Contrary to the video on the 13 Stories website, we played laser tag with the monsters, not paintball or any other game that might simulate a blood splattered head shot. The zombies did what zombies do: die messily when shot. The clowns were another story. They were sneaky, good at hiding, and put on a good show when shot. A couple of them talked a little smack, which was fun to hear. The clown house run also came with 3D glasses that unleashed the full effect of the 3D paintjobs and makeup in the section. The colorful scenes made me feel as though I was walking through my own personal blacklight poster. After the clown house came the exit, or the optional Sacrifice attraction. I’ll cover Sacrifice by itself below.

On our second run through, we got regular tickets and waited in line for almost an hour. The time passed quickly as the wandering actors scared those patrons that were easily frightened, while stopping for chat or photos with the hardier souls. Zipper Face girl was my favorite wandering monster, and the Lady in Black let me take a photo with her as though we were dancing. The clown scared more people than the other monsters.

Once in the house, we took our time, which was much more rewarding. The aisles of 13 Stories are wide and sufficiently lighted that we were never really in the dark, which detracted a little from the frights. We had the opportunity to closely look at the makeup, costumes, and prosthetics. Unarmed, we were much more interesting to the zombie horde, who energetically growled, snarled, and waved their clawed and twisted hands at us. The clowns were also more aggressive and dementedly funnier in their antics.

Sacrifice. 13 Stories features an optional attraction named Sacrifice. When I went, this section was restricted to 18 and older. The website contains such statements as: “Inside this intense haunt you could be subjected to any and all mental and physical torment. You must read and sign our waiver before entering. You are subject to being pushed, pulled, shocked, wet, yelled at and worse! We suggest you not enter if you possibly would not be able to handle an event of this type.” This is all literally true…You “could be” subjected to this stuff, but, you aren’t. And I loved it. This bit of hype, combined with the name of the attraction, created all sorts of mental imagery. Plus, you go through blindfolded, which the waiver and associated info don’t mention, and which, unless you take the time to read reviews or talk to your brave friends, you don’t find out until you get there. I saw one guy back out of the feature, despite having paid for a ticket, because he said he couldn’t handle the blindfold.

You aren’t even at 13 Stories yet, but Sacrifice has taken up residence in your head, conjuring up images of being verbally and physically assaulted, perhaps soaked, in some weird combination of haunted house and hazing party. Some folks might be upset when this turns out not to be the case. For my part, I applaud the mind scramble that 13 Stories Sacrifice laid down on me. You see, the Sacrifice is about you giving up your sense of sight, and with it, some element of control. For a few minutes, you are forced to rely on your other senses, and the creepy kindness of strangers, to navigate a simple maze. I was touched on the cheek, neck, arm, shoulder, belly, and calf. Some brave person ran a feather across my throat, and someone touched my cheek with a wet cloth or maybe a baby wipe. I walked through cobwebs while someone said “I hope you like spiders” and a voice softly proclaimed that my fingers looked “tasty” as I held my hands out groping for a wall. Static shock props are used on some of the walls, delivering a mild buzz if you should put an entire hand on the device. At times someone would take my hand to guide me, or give me a firm push on the shoulder.

I enjoyed Sacrifice immensely, but I found the experience pleasant and almost relaxing. Finding my way through a maze blindfolded was an enjoyable challenge. The presence of the haunting actors added a wonderful mental spice to the experience, without being terrifying. In a classic piece of overanalysis, I was reassured by their presence, in what I hoped was a lighted passageway. I had no sight, but they did, making it easier for them to take care of me on my little trek.

Was 13 Stories and Sacrifice scary? I have to defer to people who get scared. I saw plenty of patrons trying to climb into each others arms at the sight of the various frights. So I’d say yes.

Customer Service. Excellent. I had questions, which I submitted via the contact form. They were quickly answered by an e-mail from Allyn. The night we went, all the employees were courteous and upbeat, from the ticket window to the gift shop vendor.

Facilities. Parking looked ample, and security was in the parking lot to help direct traffic. In fact, security was ubiquitous, but friendly. More restroom space would be nice. Saw lines forming quickly for the 3 porta-potties. I know those things cost money, but a few more would have been good, especially near the line where someone could duck out and back after waiting.

What Could Be Better? Okay, I acknowledge that stuff costs money, so more stuff costs more money. Also, I saw the actors do their thing twice in one night, but they have to do it dozens of times in a night, with energy, fresh and enthusiastic for each patron. It is with those facts in mind that I offer these suggestions.

Better use of darkness and sudden illumination for certain actors. The dentist, the nurse, and their victims would have been scarier if I didn’t see them coming. If they could have been hidden in darkness, even if there was enough light to see the walkway, then suddenly illuminating them would provide a much more intense scare.

More stuff. There were some empty spots that certainly would have benefitted from an actor or a prop. In one stretch, there was a room to the right that was empty, with the active direction of the haunt going left. I stopped to look in to the room, trying to figure out what it was for. In another area, a low brick wall suggested something should be hiding there, yet nothing sprang forth. The graveyard Lady in White could have used some company in the form of statues or other props to draw the eye elsewhere.

Zombies and Clowns. There was a long passage with a few shambling zombies. I think a phalanx of zombies advancing down the hall toward the group would have been scarier. Especially if the group of patrons was joined by a ringer, an actor dressed as a customer. The zombies shamble past the customers, who may or may not edge to the wall, and bury the screaming victim in a pile of walking dead. Another scenario would have the victim get pulled slowly through a wall or doorway, screaming for help as the undead messily dig into their feast. The clowns should do more of what they were already doing. Talking smack, whether being shot by recruits or terrorizing civilians was entertaining.

Sacrifice. More sensations. Light textures were used, which invites some variation. A rough texture like fine sandpaper might have been a good addition. Also the touches were quick. Mixing in a few lingering touches might also be effective, especially combined with some chatter. “Hope you like spiders” could have been accompanied by someone’s hand spider walking on my arm. “Hold still. There’s something on your neck.” would have been great combined with a lingering stroke on the neck. More creepy chatter in general would have been welcome, whispered right up next to the ear.  Maybe some interaction, in the form of a whispered question?   And taste. I don’t know if it’s even possible to work this into the attraction, given the host of allergies and ick factor, but a disposable spoon with some not unpleasant flavor on it would make a very weird and off-putting addition to Sacrifice.

13 Stories is open for another few days, even if Halloween is over. It’s well worth a visit.